Deal Me In Lite, Week 13: "Junior" by Ray Bradbury
We have reached the halfway mark in my little Deal Me In Lite project, and this week the half-deck of cards dealt the two of spades, which led to a very strange little story by Ray Bradbury.
But first, let me tell YOU a little story. One fine morning, a famous writer named Ray woke up and bounded out of bed as was his wont, and immediately went to his typewriter and sat down. (Hey, this is my story, I can have him using a typewriter if I want him to. Anyway, for all I know, that's something he might have still done.) He sat there and thought, "What shall I write about today?" He pondered for a moment, only a moment, and then he said, "AHA! I know! I think I will see if I can get away with writing a story about an old man who wakes up one morning with an erection!" And so he did.
I kid you not. The "Junior" of this story's title refers to a penis. It belongs to an 82-year-old man named Albert Beam (the first of MANY double entendres in this story, I am afraid). Junior makes an appearance one morning and surprises the heck out of Albert. He thinks it's his knee at first, which tells us Albert doesn't have a terribly good grasp of anatomy. Such is the wonder and rarity of this appearance that he immediately consults his little black book and calls three of his lady friends to come over and see the Blessed Event. They do, and... that's about all that happens in this story. Like I said, a weird little story.
I can't recommend this story unless you just like to see Bradbury doing what he does best, which is playing with language. But I'll give you a little taste of that, in case you are still sitting on the fence about whether or not to read this story:
He dropped the phone, suddenly fearful that after all the alarums and excursions, this Most Precious Member of the Hot-Dog Midnight Dancing-Under-the-Table Club might dismantle. He shuddered to think that Cape Canaveral's rockets would fall apart before the admiring crowd could arrive to gape in awe.
Now I am curious, however -- anybody know any other instance of a story where the narrative revolves around an erection (barring the pages of Penthouse and like-minded periodicals, of course)?